Fat shammed at the fertility clinic

So my doctor referred me to a fertility clinic in my town back in June and it really didn’t go so well. Before even getting the referral I mentioned to my doctor that I don’t think they would help me much due to my size and hearing horror stories – she ensured it wouldn’t happen especially since I had lost 60lbs and I was working on losing weight.
*Regardless no one should be shammed regardless if they’re losing weight, gaining or staying the same*

So my husband and I made the appointment and we happily went to our appointment, I was excited and hopeful because one of the reasons we wanted to go was to see if I was suffering from PCOS – and I was really hoping to hear that I was overreacting. Unfortunately I didn’t get to find out anything because of the doctor there.

As soon as we walked in he barely shook my husband’s hand and had one of those stand up desks while we were asked to sit down. He definitely seemed like one of those people who wanted to make you feel small while he was above you.

When we finally got to talking all he wanted to talk about was my weight… He told me how dangerous it was and how I would have all these complications. I told him that I had lost 60lbs in the past year and he looked at me in shock and said I would need to lose at least another 60lbs before he was comfortable. He also gave me hell for being there after only trying for two months – but I was really only wanting blood tests and to make sure I was ovulating. He said he could definitely do the tests but then I would just try and get pregnant and he wouldn’t want that. Honestly he was such a piece of sh*t.

My husband and I actually started laughing in this mans face while we sat in his office and asked each other “Is this man serious?” all while he tried to say these things louder to try and insult us. This man only knows my BMI and the number on the scale… He doesn’t know how long I can go on an elliptical, how I never drink soda, how eat homemade food 95% of the time and that my blood pressure level is in the OPTIMAL range. My own family doctor had no concerns and was really excited for me.

I won’t lie and say I didn’t leave in tears… The worst thing is I got my period the next day which is when I would of needed to go for the first day of testing. I obviously didn’t go because my mental health didn’t need that and he definitely didn’t deserve my money after how he spoke to me.

So my family doctor wanted to know how it all went afterwards so I saw her two days later and she was so upset with how I was treated. She was going to let her whole office know so no one else would have to deal with this doctor – at least not from her office. We both decided that I would try on my own and hope my hormones went back to normal and we would see each other again in September… So far my hormones still seem out of wack unfortunately but I am still hopeful.

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5 thoughts on “Fat shammed at the fertility clinic

  1. You know, what that guy said to you was downright abusive. Definitely register a complaint with the clinic. He needs taking down a peg or two. Go you with your elliptical training, when I was healthy it was my go-to in the gym. X

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    • Thank you, and yeah it wasn’t just him being a doctor – there was definitely some personal judgement going on. I did review him on multiple doctor sites but I should look into registering a complaint – you’re right.

      The elliptical is definitely my favourite 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • A couple of years back, I had a back injury that put me out of work and the consultant I was with tried to discriminate against me (he argued that because I had mental health issues, I had to “go away and get my head better” before I could have any more treatment from him). I took him to a tribunal and got help from a different medical team closer to home… the point is, it can be done and you seem strong- you can definitely complain! Who knows, that may either make him change his attitude or get him in trouble. x

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  2. I have a similar horror story. I loved my first gynecologist, she was very nice and made the annual process go smoothly and with little discomfort. After seeing her for a few years, she started working more at a hospital and having almost no clinic hours so the office scheduled me with another doctor. This doctor walked in with a pamphlet on gastric bypass surgery before even meeting me. She saw my weight alone and decided telling me to get gastric bypass surgery was a good plan. Didn’t ask me anything about my eating habits or exercise habits. Knew nothing about me. She then did a gynecological exam and I somehow ended up bleeding for 4 days. Needless to say I never went to that office again. If I knew then what I know now I would have immediately walked out and filed a complaint.

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    • That is absolutely disgusting… I’m definitely glad you didn’t go back. If I end up going to another fertility clinic I will definitely keep that in mind – I will walk out if they treat me badly for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

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